Understanding Abuse

At the age of 17 I married my high school sweetheart (I believe to this day I did this at such a young age because I missed my deceased father but that is beside the point). Once married in his mind I became his to do with as he pleased and I was to do exactly what I was told and nothing more. Being strong willed I stood up to him just two weeks into the marriage and that is when it all began. I endured the mental and subsequent physical abusive relationship for 8 months before I ran. Even after the divorce I went back to “see” him a couple more times, even spending a week with him in Utah several months after I left the last time. Just to see again one more time that I really did not want to be in that relationship.

I have a clear first hand understanding of abuse. The mental and emotional ups and downs of abuse weaken the strongest woman. I have firsthand experience of being “groomed” into abuse. The abuser “grooms” his victim much like a pedophile “grooms” his victim. A woman with little relationship experience is particularly vulnerable to the “grooming”. This is why the violence of abuse starts with just nasty words then makeup sessions then escalates to more violence each subsequent session until an ending is achieved one way or another. Could be that the woman actually does leave or as often as not it ends in death. The “grooming” process must include the makeup sessions. These sessions help protect the abuser by enabling him to convince the abused that it really is not that bad and what really happened did not. This technique helps the abuser cover his tracks because the abused will lie, make excuses and cover the physical markings to shelter and protect him!

Statics say that an abused woman will go back to her abuser at least eight times before finally making the final break. Abuse is a funny thing you hate the act but love the person. It is hard to de-tangle that in your heart and mind. You still have the dreams the two of you made together waning in your heart as “not going to happen” and that is a very sad feeling. In addition to losing your dreams you have lost your partner and you are alone again.

.

Without the life experience of abuse those of you who have not experienced abuse have no room to make judgment upon those who have. You simply do not understand how devastating this is and you never will; this the point of this posting. I would hope instead of judgment and negativity you would show respect and compassion to those who escaped the abuse as they are true warriors to have survived. It takes years to heal from abuse. Positive energy, love and compassion is the best medicine.

Over the last couple months I have had several people relate negative conversations they have had with some regarding my daughter Hollywood. I feel I need to address the topic to get all the true facts out upon the table. First and foremost I think everyone knows that Hollywood was in a very abusive relationship with a older man. The most difficult thing I personally have endured in my entire life is the abuse my Hollywood endured. If you are a parent I would think that you understand how absolutely helpless you are when your child is hurting and you do not have the ability to help her. I can honestly say it almost killed me and her father. As most of you know she went back “just one more time” and learned that she did not want to be in that relationship. As most of you know “that one more time" produced a perfectly innocent child. Hollywood has chose life over death. At the age of 20 Hollywood is choosing to be a mom instead of adoption (the easier route).

I want it to be known that I am EXTREMELY proud of Hollywood! She has really stepped up to her responsibilities. She has taken her pregnancy seriously. She has given up caffeine and most junk foods and goes to the gym at least three times a week. Her Doctor is extremely happy with her health even though she has lost over 12 pounds since becoming pregnant (because of the healthy lifestyle she has been living). Although, she is currently living at home with us, she pays and has been paying her equally split share of rent and utilities. She pays for ALL of her own expenses including her car payment gas and phone. She has a full time job working 40 hours a week and then typically babysits or house sits several times a week. She does not have maternity insurance, so she has been paying as she goes and is up to date with all her medical bills. She has a (medical & baby) savings account that she contributes to every time she gets money so that she can pay her up and coming delivery bills. She saves every penny she can for the expense she knows is coming with a new baby. She could have chose the easier route and gone on Medicare and Unemployment, but did not. She treats the baby’s father with respect when their paths cross, (We have raised her to treat everyone with respect because that is the right thing to do.) but has made it clear to him that she is not interested in anything from him including money.

.
It has been made clear to me that some folks are venomously angry and verbal regarding Hollywood. I do not believe that ANYONE with the exception of WaterBoy, Myself, FilmBoy or Hollywood owns the right to be “angry” about this situation as it is NOT any of their business to take on the emotion of the situation and this is simply not about them.

This has been a tough deal for all of us! We can use all the love, support and positive energy sent our way that any of my readers may choose to send. If you prefer negative thoughts and comments please keep them to yourself and off the street.

We are looking forward to welcome our healthy Eliza into our very close family.

.

There is much to look forward to coming out of an abusive relationship, I know! I found WaterBoy we fell in love had FilmBoy and Hollywood and have been blissfully married for 24 years. We truly have a wonderful life and are so blessed. Hollywood has a wonderful life before her. WaterBoy and I stand behind her and her decisions 100%.

.

If you know someone being abused, take the time to just have a cup of coffee and let them know you are there for them when they are ready. Be caring and compassionate they are hurting and more often than not just being around healthy people that is not enduring abuse can be a motive to move on, particularly if they know they are not alone and have a support system.

To learn more about this topic please go to this web page http://www.slate.com/id/2215693/?GT1=38001

Crazy Love, Crazy Choices Why on earth do women stay in abusive relationships?

Grand Teton & Yellowstone Park

The most important person in a relationship must be yourself first. If you don't take care of you, your needs, your desires, your dreams then it is impossible to be the best that you can be. Your spouse deserves to be the very first next person in your life. Children grow up and move on with their lives, your spouse should be there throughout your life so it is important to nurture that relationship on a daily basis.

WaterBoy and I make it a point to spend quality time together. This has always been a number one priority. A few years back we decided to take annual long weekend trip traveling by car to see the sites that we live near. We consider this trip as a free trip! Yep, a free trip. It is not REALLY free, but because of the tricks we play with our finances throughout the year, the trip is paid with money that we have not missed. We never use change when purchasing anything, we only use bills. The coin we recieve back goes directly into our change jars. I have change jars in the laundry room, our bathroom, both our cars and our bedroom. You need to make it really easy to deposit that change into a jar. Typically when we cash in the change (usually twice a year Spring and Fall) we have about $450 to pay our way.

We live about 8 miles from the enterance of Grand Teton National Park. This is one of the most awe inspiring places on earth. Living so close to this beautiful area it is amazing how often we take advantage of and dismiss the grandure of the area. Last weekend we decided to trip through Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone National Park. Our goal was to see many animals and to take many photos. Well we did take many photos 251 to be exact, but the animals well they were not so forth coming, that will need to be another day. I have a couple that you will enjoy.

Here is our journey.

WaterBoy and I were up before dawn. Our goal was to make it to Grand Teton National Park with beautiful morning light, we suceeded. Our first stop was the Chapel of Transfigureation. This is an Episcapal church located within the park. What a beautiful one room little log cabin. It’s large window frames the Grand Teton’s beautifully. I had forgotten the awe of standing infront of the alter framing the Teton’s with the simbal of our Lord. It is something to witness. This little chapel comes complete with beautiful stained glass arched windows, each telling their own story. My pictures of this morning, the mountains and the chapel look tampered with, I have not photoshopped anything. We have some smoke in the area which was in the air I believe this is why the mountians have that “Is That Real” look to them.

After our stop at the chapel we drove the Jenny Lake Loop. Jenny Lake is a beautiful place. Located at the base of the Grand Teton Mountains, because of a mirrored affect often it is hard to tell where the mountains end and the lake begins.

New Recipes

I have posted new recipes to my recipe blog.

Labor Day Camp Trip

Our Labor Day camping trip included 11 campers, 33 people, 12 dogs, 10 four wheelers and 2 side by side four wheelers.

We had much fun. This is a picture of a rock formation just on the other side of the creek at sun down. I am in this picture. Can you find me? I am by my camper. Do you see me yet? I am wearing my red bikini!

UNCLE COUSIN KENTUCKY.....this is in the area where we went as children...do you remember? CLICK Wind River Mountains

Old Black Dog

This is a picture of Old Black Dog. I took this picture on Labor Day. In the background you can see the "snow" clouds forming over the Wind River Mountain Range. The Wind Rivers are my home in my heart. Every time I get near them I calm. To learn more about these beautiful mountains click here.

Notice the red, green, black and orange lichen on the rocks. Be sure to click on the pictures to enlarge them.

It Is So Nice To Have Hollywood Back!

The old Hollywood is back. I do not know what she did with "Alien Hollywood", but I hope she dropped her off a high cliff never to return.

She is smiling, joking and teasing her dad. Yesterday a little baby took her first steps in life into Hollywood's arms. Hollywood said that it made her so happy she cried! I remember the day Hollywood took her first steps into my arms. It made me so happy I cried. I do miss my babies! But, I am very proud of both my young adults! They are good, caring and kind people for which Water Boy and I are very blessed!

The ordeal our family has gone through over these last very painful and agonising months will not be forgotten. I will forever more care on my blogs important information about abuse. Abuse wears many hats as noted on this blog. If you wonder if you are abused, check out the website www.youarenotcrazy.com .

Hollywood has a way to go to dig herself out of the hole she created. Water Boy and I are here to support her journey; however, this is her journey to climb so we are gifting to her that journey. She knows the apron strings are broken. These strings needed to be broken. As long as Water Boy and I were there to clean up her messes she could not progress with her life. I am more confident than ever that she will become the beautiful independent woman she is destine to be.

Class Plans Posted

Hey -

I posted the next four months of class plans over on http://cookingdaytodaywithsuneday.blogspot.com/ . Stop on over to check it out! Then run on over to http://recipesbysuneday.blogspot.com/ to check out my newest posted recipes.

SunEday

More on Hollywood

Hollywood was running late this morning and did not have time to make her lunch. I told her when I dropped her off at work that I would bring lunch by around 1. I stuffed and tossed a chicken in the oven to bake when I returned home.

At 1, I boxed up hot chicken and stuffing and took it to Hollywood. When I arrived Hollywood introduced me to her new boss. I handed her the plate of chicken, she commented that it was still warm. I told her what lunch was she looked directly at her boss and said "Isn't she the BEST!"..........I about hit the floor. What a nice compliment. I can't tell you how much I appreciated the kind words coming from her mouth.

I have really missed my darling Hollywood. I hope she is back for good. I really disliked the "Alien Hollywood".

SunEday

Hollywood Update

Hollywood - Is home with Water Boy and I. These last few weeks have been very difficult for us. After getting more information on That Man, we have found that he is extremely messed up. We are counting our blessings that our beautiful Hollywood is alive and home.

She is doing much better day to day. She has a new job, which has a lot of children around her. Children make you smile and smiling is the single most thing Hollywood needs to do right now. She has been so emotionally abused that she had lost most of the light in her eyes.

Hollywood went as far as playing a prank on Water Boy. I honestly don't remember the last time I saw her giggle then laugh....but when Water Boy thought he missed recording NASCAR this last weekend and responded in his normal manner. I saw some of that lost light come on in Hollywood's eyes...then came the giggle then the full belly laugh.

It was good, Hollywood and I in full blown laughter, watching as Water Boy punched the buttons on the remote trying to get the race to play. A good memory!

I honestly think Hollywood has seen the light. She sure has been working hard these last few days to get a new life lined up. Only time will tell.

Thank you for all the love and support!
SunEday

Cooking and Recipe Blogs

Here is my cooking and recipe blogs.

Cooking Day To Day With SunEday - is just tips or ideas about cooking. There is a link to my recipe files. Which I will be working to get all put together.

http://cookingdaytodaywithsuneday.blogspot.com/

Recipes By SunEday -

New Recipes Please Leave A Your Comment

• Healthy Meat Loaf
• How to Make Puree
• Quick & Easy French Onion Soup
• Brown & Serve Meat Balls

http://recipesbysuneday.blogspot.com/

"Am I Abused?"

Do you wonder "Am I Abused?" Go here: http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

The Alien Inside

Hello to my support groups.

I am sure at this point you are thinking "Just another kid, gone wild". But THAT is NOT the case. Hollywood is wonderful sure she and I have had our tiffs, we are very similar. But, she is amazing.

I have owned several businesses, an antique shop, pawn and money store all in one (sold a few years back), an environmental business (I still have - I work on ground, water and drinking water) plus I wear many different hats for my many different clients from bookkeeping to personal assisting. When Hollywood was 16 Water Boy and I went on a buying trip with our business partner for the antique shop. Hollywood had worked the entire business for me often while maintaining another job AND school work. I was afraid to leave Hollywood alone for the 10 day trip so I hired another women to come in and just be there because Hollywood was so young in a business with transit type folks. I did not know until I returned home, this woman NEVER SHOWED up to work. Hollywood handled the entire store by herself!!!! At age 16. I don't know of anyone at age 16 that could have done this. She had a $6000 day all by herself along with the pawn and money store!!!! The entire time I had the store I NEVER had a $6000 day! She is amazing.

What I see going on with her these last few months is sooooo foreign. My only explanation is ......I am positive AN ALIEN HAS TAKEN OVER HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting side note, every other person ever interviewed by officials who have had a family member in this same situation as Hollywood with THAT MAN has used the EXACT SAME PHRASE...An Alien has taken over!

I am confused! I am extremely hurt! I am heart broken!

"I still am calling bull shit!"

The Abuse Cycle

IT IS FREAKIN UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!! I am at my wits end!!!!!!!!!!!! The abuse cycle is amazing!!! I have walked in Hollywood's shoes....I have been there, I understand but it is hard. Hollywood is textbook....but it does not make it easy to understand. Honestly, I personally can not deal with too much more of this b.s.

Now Hollywood does NOT WANT TO press charges. Yep, that is what she says.....NOW THAT MAN IS MR. WONDERFUL.... Water Boy and Hollywood went to file the paperwork. When they got there Hollywood proceeded in telling those people trying to help fill out the paperwork that this was all Water Boy and my fault. Water Boy and I are drunkin lunatics!!!!!!!! Water Boy said his jaw just hit the floor. He could not believe that HIS darling daughter could sit there and blatantly tell such huge lies about all of this and about us! And then defend all of That Man's actions!!! Water Boy came home with his head a hanging low at how betrayed he feels. He never in a million years would have dreamed that his beautiful daughter would do this to him. And get this Water Boy and I are the ones in the wrong. We have blown these things out of context.

Gee grabbing you around the throat, while you believe you are in danger, is OKAY?????????? Holding you against your will for forty five minutes is okay?????? Taking a hammer and putting it through the wall is okay????? Calling you every name in the book is okay???? Yep that makes him Mr. Wonderful just ask Hollywood. Rinse a repeat...UNFREAKIN BELIEVABLE!!!!

Hollywood just came into my office and said she does not feel comfortable around all this animosity towards her (from Water Boy and I). After what Water Boy under went at the legal shop? Gee, I would hate to see what real animosity felt like. Gee just 5 minutes ago I offered to make her a sandwich. Does this constitute animosity towards her?? Guess so Water Boy and I are fault!!!! Yep all of this hell that we have gone through is OUR own FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have got to be in the Twilight Zone..... I have GOT to be in the Twilight Zone...that is the only explanation.

I know That Man is getting to her I am not sure how, but he is. He is really trying to alienate her from all of her family. He is succeeding. I told Hollywood it is time to put on your BIG GIRL PANTIES and start taking responsibilities for yourself! Quit blaming EVERYONE else for the messes you yourself are creating. I said "I Call Bull Shit", which is a phrase we use to say okay, that doesn't fly, it doesn't make sense and we all know it is b.s.

I believe Hollywood is praying that she is pregnant. That is the only way she can justify not proceeding with the prosecution of That Man. "He would go to jail for 4 to 6 years, if I file these papers". Boo freakin hoo! I have told her until I am blue in the face, this is not YOUR problem! You have to look after yourself. He has made his own bed, not you. They just don't throw you in jail for 4 to 6 years for a first offense. Nope they don't, but they will on lets say the third, fourth or more times prosecuted! Yep!! But NO just ask Hollywood, it is now Water Boy and my doings that That Man is in this situation.

I CALL BULL SHIT!

Hollywood Attacked

Hello to all my support.

Last night that man attacked Hollywood. Pulled her around by her hair then tried to strangle her. She managed to get away and call the police and Water Boy. He fled into the woods. Water Boy drove up to the "Ax" Ranch and brought Hollywood home. At this time we do not know the where abouts of that man. Please keep the prayers coming. Our family is in a lock down mode at the moment. We are being extremely cautious until they find that man. Hopefully this is coming to an end soon.

Here is the kicker.....the police have 24 hours to locate him. After 24 hours have passed if they have not located him then they CAN NOT arrest him for domestic violence. What is up with that kind of law? Wouldn't you think with all the stalking laws in place they could arrest him for his actions last night?? I don't get it.

Thanks for all the love and support.

SunEday

Day Seven Letter One

Dear Hollywood:

Grandpup LuLu is having a fine time. Grandpup LuLu is taking great pleasure "playing" the chase game with Phoebe the water stealing cat and Sophie the brainless cat, unfortunately those two cats have not caught on that this is suppose to be a game and not for real.

Have been talking to Aunt Use To Babysit you, it sounds like we will be traveling to the funeral leaving Wednesday morning around 6. We really would love it if you decided to come with us.

You should have seen your Dad the other day. My client is having us help him sell his Harley. It had to be moved from in front of the house to the garage around back. It was the first time your dad has ever ridden a Harley. He looked so funny and I missed the photo op. He looked better on that scooter he had for a day. I asked him if he was going to have a midlife crisis and buy that bike. He said, "Ya, you can just call me "Mr." "Mr. Biker Dude that is".

We are here to talk if you like any time you are ready.

We love you and miss you.
Mom

Song For Nettie

This is a special song for a special lady. We will miss you Nettie!


In the Arms Of an Angel - Sarah McLaughlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CbAjj80NIM

Sad News

Water Boy received word this morning that our darling "Nettie" passed away this morning in Aunties arms. Nettie was a special member of our extended family, always happy, always with camera in tow, she loved Alan Jackson and ketchup. Nettie had Downs Syndrome but lived a long life into her forties. We will all miss you Nettie.

Much Love
SunEday!

Hollywood At My Door

Good Morning -

Hollywood did come by around 3 Friday afternoon, with grandpup in tow. They both looked wonderful, but heck it really would not have mattered how they looked I was just so relieved to see them!

I hugged Hollywood's neck as long as she let me. I held back my tears of relief and I must admit the anger I have after being in the bowels of hell that Water Boy and I have been this last week.

I did not ask any questions. I just kept thinking...baby steps...baby steps...baby steps. So I said little and let her talk.

She is working & living just 45 miles away at that "Ax Ranch". This is a remote guest ranch with employee housing, she will be serving tables there. She said it is dorm style living and she says she has two roommates both from Russia who speak little English. She left grandpup LuLu with Water Boy and I because dogs are not allowed in the dorm. If all this is the case then that man is not living with her. Again, I did not ask...baby steps....baby steps...baby steps.....She said she would be needed to work there until the end of September. She said this would give her time to get on to her feet. I AM VERY RELIEVED.

Water Boy met with her for a few minutes she stopped by his work after she left me. All he told me about that conversation was that it was a S*%#& thing she had done to us. After the week we have had I agree. I know we will need to work on our relationship with Hollywood, but for now it is not the time as Hollywood needs to get back on her feet emotionally and work on herself first.

Thank you for all your kind words, prayers and support. Keep praying and sending positive Chi that That Man is gone. Hollywood as far as I know has not seen this blog, I did kind of mention it and she seemed to not have a clue. I think it best to wait a while and to keep posting to her before she sees this, I do not want to put any further anxiety on her until I am sure she is emotionally stable.

Grandpup LuLu

This is my grandpup LuLu. I have always had big dogs, never had much interest in little yippee dogs. But, I must say LuLu has captured both Water Boy and my heart.

She only yips when there is a knock at the door. Old black dog, Phoebe the water stealing cat and Sophie the brainless cat all totally dislike grandpup LuLu.

LuLu takes great pride in a great game of chase through the house with the cats and loves to snuggle up to Old Black Dog much to Old Black Dogs chagrin.

A Song to Hollywood

Hollywood -

My dear friend sent me this song to make me feel better. I am sending it on to you.

Never Alone - Sara Evans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2C2gaKvT0k

Thank you my friend tsm3012!

I love you!
Mom

Hollywood Calls Water Boy

Hollywood called Water Boy. Said, she is coming over this evening. She is only 45 miles away at that "Ax Ranch". She said she was bringing grandpup Lulu to come live with us for a while. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I am numb to her promises. I don't think I can take many more disappointments for a while.

Quotes to Hollywood from JMO

When people show you the FIRST time who they are, believe them!

You can forget what people say. You can forget what people do. You never forget how they made you feel.

When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. (Alexander Graham Bell)

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way. ~ Fear Accomplishes Nothing.

Thank you my friend JMO for all your support - we are going to make it!

Other Lost Soles

Dear Friends:

As Water Boy and I are traveling this tough trail, we are becoming very aware of just how many other women, children and men are in abusive situations.

Over 30 years ago, I too was in a very abusive situation. I lived through it but came very close to loosing my life. As the years have passed, I had forgotten the terror of that kind of life. I had forgotten the brainwashing, the brow beating, the physical beatings.

Traveling this trail I am on today, all the emotions, feelings and thoughts have flooded back into my body. I did not realize that I had not gotten over those days some 30 long years ago. But, I have not. I should not. I simply chose to forget about them and in turn have forgotten about all those other people out there in these situations. I guess this is why I am so terrified for Hollywood.

I have been fortunate to have had Water Boy in my life for over 24 years. Together we have made a wonderful life full of loving family and friends. Not every day has been a cake walk, but every day was and is a safe day for us.

Going forward as l learn of other lost soles, I will post their first name here so hopefully all those who visit this blog can take just one minute to stop, pray and send all the positive Chi to those in need.

If you are one of these lost soles please visit - http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

If you sit here and say to yourself, "I don't think I am abused". Then chances are you are being abused, because those folks who are not being abused just don't have to ask themselves that question. Go to this website, confirm for yourself, then get away. Don't waste another day.

http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

SunEday

A Letter to Steven

Dear Steven:

Your mother emailed to me yesterday about your situation. Please know that your momma is fighting for you. She loves you and misses you.

Today I am sending to you and your momma all the positive thoughts, prayers and Chi, I can muster. Hang in there little man.

SunEday

Day Four Letter One

Dear Hollywood:

Thank you for phoning home yesterday. It was good to hear your voice and to know that you are okay.

We wish we could have talked with you last night like we planned. Maybe we can talk today? It is a comfort to know that you are closer to home than dad & I originally thought.

We had dinner at aunt and uncle excavation house last night. Betrothed cousin and soon to be spouse was there, Grinnell cousin, grandma, grandma's friend flower, barber uncle and aunt crash :-) was there. Aunt crash is doing much better and doctors say her arms are recovering nicely. Uncle excavation smoked brisket all day, it was very tender and yummy.

Water stealing cat, is as ornery as ever, she just thinks she is tough but snuggles in close at night. Brainless is still brainless but still a very lovey kitty. Old black dog is still old but tries to get her tail anyway.

Filmboy called last night asking about his sis. He loves you too you know and is missing you.

http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

Hopefully today we can chat.

We love and miss you.
Mom

Hollywood Calls Home

Just an update Hollywood just phoned home. We are going to talk later this evening. Keep the prayers coming!

Won Ton's Mom

Hollywood -

Won Ton's mom called sends her love. Wants you to call Won Ton.
Tally flower misses you too.

http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

We love you and we miss you.
Mom

Inspiration

Darling daughter Hollywood - this is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkCFeNeqyHk&feature=related


From my friend JMO thank you!

Hollywood - please don't quit on us...we won't quit on you!

Positive Energy

Hello - to all my support team. Thank you for all your kind words of support.

This world is made of energy. All the positive energies that you send off to darling daughter Hollywood helps. Keep it up.

The good Lord has a plan, it is up to me to trust him and his plan. Prayer and meditation to your God helps my darling daughter know that she is loved by many. Keep it up.

I am reciprocating back to each of you. You are in my prayers today. You are in my meditation today. I am sending positive Chi to you today. SunEday.

Darling daughter Hollywood feel the love coming your way. Mom

Day Three Letter One

Dear Hollywood -

Please click this link to "You Are Not Crazy" http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

Bride to be cousin and betrothed arrived in town last night. They are here looking for their wedding spot. What a fun time for them. We are having dinner at mom and dad excavation house tonight to celebrate the announcement. We wish you were here to celebrate with us!

Grandma is very sad and sends her love to you too, she said you can always call her. Maybe you should to put her mind at ease.

We miss grandpup! We love you! We miss you!

Mom

Day Two Letter Three

Dear Hollywood:

Huckleberries are on...remember when dad ran out of the woods after seeing the bear when he thought it was Old Black Dog?

We love you! We miss you!!
Mom

Day Two Letter Two

Dear Hollywood:

We know you are very angry with your father and I, understandably so. We believe someday when you become a momma you will understand what lengths a parent will go to to protect their child. Like a momma bear...all teeth showing taking no prisoners.

We know you want to be on your own and make your own way. That is exactly what we want for you. For you to be on YOUR own. We understand why you don't want to be here in Jackson and that is fine. But, it doesn't take that man for you to be on your own. You are a bright, intelligent beautiful girl, with a lot to offer. You have a lifetime ahead of you. What do you want out of your life? Think about that.

Food for thought

• Remember how happy you were before that man? What is your happiness level now?
• Remember all those things you told us about that man.
• Remember all the things you told your friends about that man. Were those all lies? If so then you were lying about that man, who you love? Does that even make sense?
• If all those things you told us and your friends were lies about that man who is the love of your life then wouldn't that man be hurt by your words.
• Think about this, that man is 35 years old. What does he have to show for his 35 years? How has he contributed to society. How do you see your future with that man based upon his previous 35 years?
• Don't you think you deserve the fairy tale life with someone who adores you?
• Don't you think you deserve the fairy tale wedding?
• Don't you think you deserve to be happy?
• Don't you think you deserve to keep all your family? Didn't that man tell you what he wanted in life was family, like you have? Then why is he tearing you away from your family?
• Don't you think you deserve to have a life coach councilor help you through these emotional times? Hollywood we have lost too many family and friends this last year. It is going to take a lot of time to heal for all of us.
• Don't you think you deserve to have time to yourself to think all of this through, so that you know your decisions are being made with a clear head? Why can't he give you time to get on your feet emotionally? Reasonable people would want a decision so big as love and being a couple being made by emotionally stable person.

Has he told you he will take care of you and that he is the only one who truly loves you? Remember you are loved by many.

Has he told you we abandanded you?

• Remember third grade icky teacher? We supported you.
• Remember that aweful pink paint job in your room? We supported you.
• Remember Hitler Principal? We supported you.
• Remember your last swim on swim team? We supported you.
• Remember Tucson? We supported you.
• Remember big dark friend of Jesus boy before Tucson? We supported you.
• Remember dark hair bike bar b q boy. We supported you.
• Remember dumb job at village. We supported you.
• Remember drama queens at long time work. We supported you.

We will ALWAYS support you! We would NEVER abandan you. Never!

Hollywood it is not too late to change your mind. You don't have to stay in your current situation, you have choices.

When you are ready to go your own way, we will support you. No questions asked. Haven't we always.

Know that you are not EVER alone. Help moving on with your life as YOU see fit is a phone call away. Check out the website I posted a link to. http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

Did you notice the picture on this page is the Gross Ventre by where we camp?

We love you! We miss you!

Mom

Poem by Martivir to Darling Daughter

Liquid silver dripping off sterling tipped tongue
Oblivious to the true song being sung
Sinking deep into a cesspool of hope
Slowly knotting her own hanging rope

She’s blinded by trust, silenced by love
She misses the call of the lone mourning dove
A perfect wife, a dream of white
Unable to see the truth of night

Obedience born of guilt
Life’s slipping away like sandy silt
Tinted cracks begin to appear
Her ears are closed, she refuses to hear

Iron tipped barbs lance through her soul
She’s been beaten down, she knows her role
Silence rules, submission speaks
Tears flow down, stress hollowed cheeks

Rose glass flying through the air
Life’s here and it’s never fair
Innocence has been shattered
She never truly mattered

The pit was dug, there’s no way out
Dropped to the bottom, soul full of doubt
It’s all her fault, she’s to blame
She can’t see that’s his game

Builds them up, then breaks them down
Throws them out, let’s them drown
They think it’s her, never him
He’s a perfect creature, sweet seraphim

She grinds her glasses into dust
Her eyes now open the truth a must
He’s a con, a player, low- life extraordinaire
She flees, flies, away from there

His lies made bald, the truth now known
His faults bare, cowardice shown
She’s not crazy, just hurt as hell
Betrayed, broken, but stronger as well

Rose glass flying through the air
Life’s here and it’s never fair
Innocence has been shattered
Never again, that’s all that matters

Thank you my friend Martivir

Day Two

Dear Darling Daughter:

Dad and I woke up to a beautiful sun filled morning, but as the fog of sleep left our brains reality filled our broken hearts. Our beautiful daughter is missing. The memories of holding my husband of 24 years as he sobbed in my arms last night flashed through my head. I have never seen him cry like this before, my heart breaks for him.

My heart breaks for you today. I know you are confused and emotionally spent. You have been through a lot this last year. I know you miss Poppa and Grandmom we all do. My wish is for you to come home and talk to us, but I know in your eyes right now Dad and I are the enemy. I am sorry.

Your cell phone is on, your voice mail needs reset. I will text to you both of your cousins telephone numbers in Denver so that you will not be all alone.

REMEMBER what we told you about that little gut feeling. Watch for it and please act upon it if it should arise. We will help you start your own life if you will let us. We love you with all of our hearts! We miss you!

Mom

Day One

Greetings - I started working on this blog last Friday August 8, 2008. My intention in creating my blog spot was to highlight all the people and things that I love:

• my darling husband Water Boy - the love of my life 24+ years together and we still like each other!
• darling son Filmboy
• darling daughter Hollywood
• Phoebe the water stealing cat
• Sophie the brainless cat
• Old Black Dog says it all
• grandpup Lulu - yorkies steal your heart
• Cooking
• Photography
• Gardening
• Wyoming

Unfortunately, this blog dramatically changed yesterday. DD Hollywood (20) ran away with her abusive BF forever more to be known as "THAT MAN" (35) we believe they are in the Denver area. DH and I are very concerned for her safety as THAT MAN has not only mentally but has physically abused several women that we know about.

This blog is now going to be a mothers on-going letter to DD Hollywood. Hopefully she will find this page and know we love and miss her! Hopefully sometime soon I will be able to return this blog to what it was originally intended.